Man are hard to please

Men Are Hard To Please 男人很难取悦!!
The problems with GUYS: 男人的问题是：
If u TREAT him nicely, he says u are IN LOVE with him; 如果妳对他好，他说妳爱上他了．
If u Don't, he says u are PROUD. 对他不好，他说妳骄傲．
If u DRESS Nicely, he says u are trying to LURE him; 如果妳穿得很漂亮，他说你企图诱惑他．If u Don't, he says u are from KAMPUNG. 如果不，他说妳是乡下来的
If u ARGUE with him, he says u are STUBBORN; 如果妳跟他理论，他说妳固执
If u keep QUIET, he says u have no BRAINS. 如果妳沉默，他说妳没大脑！
If u are SMARTER than him, he'll lose FACE; 如果妳比他聪明，他说那是小聪明If he's Smarter than u, he is GREAT. 如果他比你聪明，他就是有智慧！
If u don't Love him, he tries to POSSESS u; 如果妳不爱他，他想拥有妳
If u Love him, he will try to LEAVE u.(very true huh?) 如果妳爱他，他试着离开妳．
If u don't make love with him., he says u don't Love him; 如果妳不跟他做爱，他说妳不爱他
If u do!! he says u are CHEAP. 如果跟他做，他说你是贱货！
If u tell him your PROBLEM, he says u are TROUBLESOME; 如果妳告诉他妳的问题，他说妳麻烦
If u don't, he says that u don't TRUST him. 如果不，他说妳不信任他
If u SCOLD him, u are like a NANNY to him; 如果妳骂他，妳好象他奶妈
If he SCOLDS u, it is because he CARES for u. 如果他骂妳，是表示他“关心”妳
If u BREAK your PROMISE, u Cannot be TRUSTED; 如果妳没有守承诺，妳就是不可信的人
If he BREAKS his, he is FORCED to do so. 如果他不守承诺，他是迫不得已的
If u SMOKE, u are BAD girl; 如果妳吸烟，妳是坏女孩
If he SMOKES, he is GENTLEMAN. 如果他吸烟，他是绅士
If u do WELL in your exams, he says it's LUCK; 如果妳考试成绩好，他说是运气
If he does WELL, it's BRAINS. 如果他考得好，他说是实力！
If u HURT him, u are CRUEL; 如果妳伤害了他，表示妳很残忍
If he HURTS u, u are too SENSITIVE!! 如果他伤害了妳，表示妳太敏感而且太难取悦！
SO HARD TO PLEASE!!!!!If u send this to guys, they will swear that it's not true....... 如果你寄这封信给男生，他们会发誓以上是不正确的．．
but if u don't they say u are selfish..... 如果你不寄给他们，他们说妳自私．....．